So you’ve decided to go out, enjoy and indulge in some active gay dating. It is a known fact that one of the most awkward situations in gay dating is when you can’t tell whether your friend is dating material or just that… a friend.
The best thing to do is to heighten your gaydar (read: gay radar). So does this “sixth sense” come in handy when dating? Of course. You would not want to be in those extremely embarrassing revelations that happen to countless gay men and unsuspecting women right? Ever uttered the lines Oh, sorry I thought you were…or I did not have a clue that you are… or Wow, I really thought you were into me…? If you have, then it’s time to sharpen your gaydar. To do this, you must be keenly familiar with gay life, whether this be the gay look, gay speak, gay sport, and others. Do note that the following tips are not 100% foolproof. There are always exceptions to the rule and there IS still a chance that that sweaty (and somewhat smelly) hunk across the street is indeed dating material.
Gay Look. Clothing-wise, gays do not really differ much from straight men. Both value their physical appearance and demeanor so seeing a well-groomed and freshly bathed guy does not mean he’s gay. Now you might say that fingernail paint is surely a telltale sign that he’s gay right? Well, not quite, unless of course you think soccer superstar (ok, God to some) David Beckham is gay! Men like Beckham are what people call metrosexuals, that is, men that are straight yet embody the heightened aesthetic sense often associated with certain types of gay men. They are simply very urban straight men who are in touch with their feminine side.
So, what IS the gay look? Don’t just go by the clothes. See how he ‘reacts’ to his clothes or environment. A guy with fingernail paint may be ‘cool’ but having his painted twinkie up in the air when he holds his glass to sip a drink is a flag shouting ‘gay’! Also, check out the overall look. Clean clothes are ok but, super groomed hair, white socks gleaming shoes and a ready handkerchief too? Perfume also tells a lot. Many straight men go for the clean and neat look but they wouldn’t be caught dead using COCO Channel no. 5.
Gayspeak. Examine your conversation with your date. Does he use subtle communication? For example, does he use genderless pronouns to describe a partner? Other features of speech distinguish gay men, these include stressed pronunciation, a wide pitch range, breathy tones, the use (or misuse) of long s and z’s when talking, and the pronunciation of t and d as ts and dz. Moreover, they frequently engage in ritual insults, irony, sarcasm, sexual and erotic reference, women-related imagery and metaphor.