|
Write
a Better Online Personal Ad
By Tracy Brant
If you are going to invest time or money in using a matchmaking
website, you should really pay some attention to writing
a profile that will get you some responses. People will
not be interested in emailing you if you do not do something
to make yourself stand out from the masses of people using
personal ads.
I administer
several dating websites. People frequently write in saying, "I never get any replies to my ad." And
when I go look at the ad, I find that they have not filled out
the profile, or added a photo. Who can tell if they want to email
you if there is no information? Not quite as bad, but still ineffective,
is a profile that says, "Email me for details" or "looking
for a nice person." You can't bother to write a paragraph
to find the love of your life? Or even a fun date for the weekend?
Here are some guidelines for writing effective personal ad blurbs:
INVESTMENT. Decide that this is worth spending some time on,
or don't bother. You wouldn't submit a sloppy resume, would you?
This is about making a good first impression, because there will
be no second chance once someone clicks to the next ad.
MARKETING.
You are marketing yourself... trying to stand out in a crowd.
You are
the "product." and the people you
want to meet are your customers. Think about who you want to
meet, and then think about who THEY want to meet! How can you
tell them that YOU are the person they want to meet? Magazine
ads, for example, grab your attention, make you laugh, they make
you think "wow, what a great thing... I want to buy it." They
can be short, but pack a punch. If they are long, they tell a
good story. Marketers test their different ad campaigns, and
you should, too. Try placing different ads to see what gets you
a better result.
PREPARATION. Before you log in anywhere, do some thinking and
writing. Don't wait until you are faced with a blinking cursor
to write your blurb. Give serious thought to how you will describe
yourself and the person you hope to find. Write at least two
paragraphs, one about yourself, and one about the person you
seek. Ask someone you trust to read those paragraphs and comment
on how well they reflect who you are and what you want. Save
that text to cut and paste into dating website forms. Have a
digital photo or two ready.
OPENING LINES.
Use your username... don't be Ann3456... be PaintBallPrincess
or
SecretSuperHero or something else that reflects your sense
of humor and yourself. If the ad allows you a "subject line" also
use that well... "Need woman in Atlanta" doesn't cut
it. "Atlanta woman on a mission" sounds more interesting. "Atlanta
Knight seeks her Queen" tells a different story about who
you are seeking. Use your username and subject line to hook people
into your ad. Use humor, drama, a funky metaphor. Then, like
any good ad, you want to show them you are what they need, show
them why you are unique, and invite them to take action... by
emailing you!
DETAILS.
Write in complete sentences. Spelling and grammar DO count.
We have
modern tools to help with that. You want to look
like you find this task important enough to spell out the words.
Unless you are 15 years old, writing "If u r inrested n
me, wrt 2 me" makes you LOOK 15 years old. ALL CAPS IS LIKE
SHOUTING... don't. It is actually harder to read.
HONESTY.
If you are not honest with yourself and others, you will not
find happiness
in the personals. Are you married? You
know, people CAN figure that out and will resent the lie more
than the wedding ring. Without making any value judgements, putting
down "married" will not necessarily stop you from finding
matches. If you are just looking for a casual date, don't imply
that you are looking for marriage just to get more email... it
wastes everyone's time. If you are looking for a long-term thing,
don't think you can "convince" a casual date to spend
more time with you. You are asking for disappointment. Try completing
this sentence: "In a year, I'd like to see us doing...."
BEYOND PHYSICAL. Have you ever really dated someone just for
their eye color? OK, maybe you have spectacular eyeballs. But
ads tend to reel off personal stats... and then stop there, as
though there were nothing but a body. Most personal sites let
you click things to describe your eyes, hair, and height... don't
waste valuable profile space on your hair. Talk about who you
are first, and what you look like at the end.
AVOID NEGATIVES.
This is not the place to list all the things that drove you
crazy
about your ex and how you won't put up with
that again. Don't list what you don't want... discuss what you
DO want. Turn your own lifestyle quirks into positives, not obstacles.
Workaholic? Try, "My career keeps me very busy, so I need
someone with a flexible schedule for spontaneous one-day adventures." Frugal
to a fault? Try "I find it amusing to squeeze a nickel 'til
it screams... help me research for my web column "CheapDates
for CheapSkates." Worried people will regard your children
as an obstacle? "My family is very important to me and I
hope to find someone that will enjoy the attention of a warm
family circle."
POST A PHOTO.
Website statistics show that an ad with a photo is 80% more
likely
to get a response. A photo that shows you
relaxed and having fun, no matter what you look like, is even
better. Don't use a photo that isn't current.. it isn't worth
looking so insecure, or being rejected later. Don't rush to ask
for a photo... you may look like a "pic trader," someone
who is collecting photos rather than looking for a real date.
Don't stress about your looks... attraction is about more than
looks. Yes, we often are first attracted to someone by looks,
when we meet in person. But on the Internet, if you seem like
a jerk, you won't get the chance to meet in person.
LIFE STAGES.
People often say that "age" is not as
important as "life stage." Where are you in your life?
Just starting out in a new career? Settled into life with kids?
Empty-nesting? Exploring new interests? These are things that
matter. Talk about what is important in your life. "I am
established in my career and now turning my attention to the
great books I never had time to read." "I moved to
this state for a job after college, and I am looking for dates
with a lot of outdoors-loving friends to help me build a sporty
new social circle."
FAVORITE
THINGS. Listing ALL your favorite things is dizzying.. Choose
one good example
and talk about why you like it. Choose
something that gives the reader an insight into what you enjoy.
You want people to be able to spot things you have in common,
but also feel that there is something new and interesting to
learn about you. Interest them in learning more with a "teaser" about
something fascinating about you. Ask a question for them to answer
in the reply email.
RULES. Never... NEVER include your last name, phone number or
address. Observe the rules of the various websites... some do
not allow you to post web addresses or email addresses. Many
prohibit crude language or sexual references. Getting your ad
removed by breaking rules is a waste of time.
So... let your personality be shown in a tasteful way, take
the time to do a good job, and have a good photo. Those things
alone will put you far ahead of the misspelled anonymous pack.
Best of luck!
© Dateable.com
LLC 2002
___________________
About the author: Tracy Brant is a freelance writer and an editor
at Dateable.com. She can be contacted at tracy@dateable.com.
Dateable.com is an exciting online community for singles, couples
and romance lovers. Dateable.com has romantic resources, advice,
poetry, greeting cards, and more. Dateable.com also features
specialty matchmaking services. Whether you are looking for a
soulmate or a playmate, visit http://dateable.com
Return to Articles Index
|