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by : Martin Pearce
So you’ve decided to go out, enjoy and indulge in some
active gay dating. It is a known fact that one of the most awkward
situations in gay dating is when you can’t tell whether
your friend is dating material or just that… a friend.
The best
thing to do is to heighten your gaydar (read: gay radar). So
does this “sixth sense” come in handy when dating?
Of course. You would not want to be in those extremely embarrassing
revelations that happen to countless gay men and unsuspecting
women right? Ever uttered the lines Oh, sorry I thought you were…or
I did not have a clue that you are… or Wow, I really thought
you were into me…? If you have, then it’s time to
sharpen your gaydar. To do this, you must be keenly familiar
with gay life, whether this be the gay look, gay speak, gay sport,
and others. Do note that the following tips are not 100% foolproof.
There are always exceptions to the rule and there IS still a
chance that that sweaty (and somewhat smelly) hunk across the
street is indeed dating material.
Gay Look.
Clothing-wise, gays do not really differ much from straight
men. Both value
their physical appearance and demeanor
so seeing a well-groomed and freshly bathed guy does not mean
he’s gay. Now you might say that fingernail paint is surely
a telltale sign that he’s gay right? Well, not quite, unless
of course you think soccer superstar (ok, God to some) David
Beckham is gay! Men like Beckham are what people call metrosexuals,
that is, men that are straight yet embody the heightened aesthetic
sense often associated with certain types of gay men. They are
simply very urban straight men who are in touch with their feminine
side.
So, what
IS the gay look? Don’t just go by the clothes.
See how he ‘reacts’ to his clothes or environment.
A guy with fingernail paint may be ‘cool’ but having
his painted twinkie up in the air when he holds his glass to
sip a drink is a flag shouting ‘gay’! Also, check
out the overall look. Clean clothes are ok but, super groomed
hair, white socks gleaming shoes and a ready handkerchief too?
Perfume also tells a lot. Many straight men go for the clean
and neat look but they wouldn’t be caught dead using COCO
Channel no. 5.
Gayspeak.
Examine your conversation with your date. Does he use subtle
communication?
For example, does he use genderless
pronouns to describe a partner? Other features of speech distinguish
gay men, these include stressed pronunciation, a wide pitch range,
breathy tones, the use (or misuse) of long s and z’s when
talking, and the pronunciation of t and d as ts and dz. Moreover,
they frequently engage in ritual insults, irony, sarcasm, sexual
and erotic reference, women-related imagery and metaphor.
Gay people
also have their own vocabulary, in fact they are famous for
it! It’s a distinct feature of being gay. In
The Queen’s Vernacular, homosexuals have been shown to
use a wide array of specialized words used to refer to sexual
relationships (such as partner) and non-sexual ones (for example,
sister), behavior (e.g., bull dyke), age (e.g., chicken), places
(e.g., tearoom), sexual identity (for example, gay, lesbian,
queer), and so forth.
The Gay Gym
Culture. For numerous gay men who are not infected by the AIDS
virus,
being actively involved in physical activity
is their way of announcing to the world that they are as healthy
as ever. Of course going to the gym does not mean he’s
gay but does he have multiple gym memberships? This may be a
telltale sign as gays delight not only on a great workout but
on seeing all those ‘hunks’ around them.
Other Telltale Signs. What other telltale signs could you look
out for that may suggest he is gay? The following are some helpful
tips: .
* His CD collection includes Pet Shop Boys, Village People,
and Patsy Cline. Count in ABBA, Cher, and Cyndi Lauper.
* His wallet contains membership cards to 3 different gyms/health
clubs.
* When he mows his lawn, he wears a mesh tank-top, tattered denim
shorts, and Doc Martins.
* His magazine subscriptions include Men's Health, Men's Fitness,
and Martha Stewart Living.
* In the locker room, you notice his perfect tan, multiple body
piercing, highlighted hair, and his handiwork with a razor down
there.
* He never excelled in sports except certain water sports.
* He prefers tiki torches and the gold candelabra on the picnic
table at your camping date.
* He wears super-tight, white-ribbed T-shirts or anything that
shows his nipples.
* You’ve seen him sit next to another guy in close settings,
such as a movie house or an airplane, that is, even if there
are spare seats around.
* You’ve seen him open the car door for another man before
he gets in himself.
* He uses conditioner and buys designer brand shampoo.
* You find out that he uses dry skin lotion, expensive slippers
and makes his bed.
* He has an artdeco Kleenex dispenser, more pictures of Marilyn
Monroe than you can count, more than two cappuccino machines
in the kitchen, and weird pets.
* His shoes are always polished.
* His favorite super hero is Wonder Woman.
Copyright 2005. All rights reserved
Martin Pearce
writes for Gay
Dating.com - If you are Gay and
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